“I would like to say I’m sorry”
He perched on the edge of the bed, feet swaying like a guilty child.
“For not trying”
Things always seemed easier in hindsight. Good decisions more obvious.
“Trying with what?”
“To live well”
If he could fit everything he wanted into one room, well it would be one helluva room. A mansion really.
“Everyone tries in some way, even if it’s small”
“It doesn’t seem like enough”
No the need for more is like an addiction, but how to explain that?
“Because I always want want want even though I need nothing”
“Having a desire for something isn’t a bad thing”
“No I guess not”
But then why did he feel so crummy? What’s that old adage, surrounded by people but still so alone. For him, it was surrounded by things and still so alone.
“It’s when you lose that desire you’re in trouble”
“What if you don’t lose the desire but become consumed by it?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if you just start caring too much about the wrong things. Money, cars, clothes.”
“I’m not following”
“I’ve started to care so much about the wrong things and it’s hard to find a path to the right things”
He would sell his soul for for a shopping spree.
“What can I do for you?”
“I’ll come back to you tomorrow God and maybe instead of sorry I’ll say hey I did something today that wasn’t motivated by greed, selfishness or self service”
“I’ll be waiting”